OK, this is a thought that’s been with me recently, and boy, I guess I need to explain!
The mere fact that that statement sounds arrogant shows that we really have problems with the things we claim to believe, from Christianity (we’re all the same before God) to democracy: (we all have the same rights). Most of us, I think, will fall onto one side or the other of the statement “there is no one better than me.”
Perhaps most of us, whether we want to admit it or not, (and a few weeks ago, I would’ve denied it), simply don’t believe it. there’s a core belief that others (maybe most others: are better than me. Although we have all the ego defenses to cover it up, there’s the fear of not-okness in the root of our “self.” From womb to tomb, others tell us what to do, what’s cool, what’s hot, what’s good, what’s not. Others have more, make more, do more, (or have more and do less—even more enviable). The ego’s quick gloating when it sees someone it feels superior to, comes from a motive that is impossible to hide.
There are those, however, for who the statement above is not sufficient. No one is better than me means I am better than most others. Their awareness of power and freedom to act in this world is enjoyed, without a thought for those affected by their actions, unless the thought is “sucks to be you” or a less bald paraphrase of the same.
I wonder how many people simply feel confident in being in their skin, day in and day out, not feeling superior or inferior to any other? I can’t say I feel it, but it’s like I’m starting to see it;
No one is better than me.
Some are more talented or capable in different ways, but none are better.
Just as every blade of grass is rooted in the same ground
and draws its life from it,
Every person is a walking windsock filled and given shape
by the same Life that blows everywhere and fills everything.
No one is better than me. And none less.
I am free. Why do I make so many concessions during a single day–tasks, assignments, social convention, law? Because the benefits of doing so outweigh the consequences of not doing so. Or because it suits me. Or because of love.
But nothing defines me or limits me, save the skin I wear, and that is most definitely temporary.
How will I live today? I don’t know. How will I live tomorrow? Who cares? No one is better than me. There is no power but that which flows to all things and all persons.
Are you even here? Am I?
Yes or no doesn’t change the fact: no one is better than you. Enjoy it.
At the risk of being overly general, yay for not judging yourself (or others). Ahhh.
Good post, Jon. Reflecting on your categories I feel like I’m in the third category, which may well be arrogant nonsense.
Nevertheless– looking back I perceive being in the first category from 10 until about 30, and in the second on those frequent occasions when for one reason or another I’ve become inflated (puffed up!)
Thereafter generally on an even keel.
When I was 24, I had a brief ectastic experience with a young Brazilian girl. I remember telling her that my life was a series of mountain tops and low valleys, and my desire was to even things out.
She quickly replied, NO! what you want to do is conquer the peaks.
I didn’t realize that it would take about 80 years to reach that point.
Thanks to you both. Julie, yeah, it IS great to be free from judging, even for a few minutes!
Larry, your experience fills me with hope and joy. Yes, I want to conquer the peaks.
hopefully, you are better than you everyday, it was this quote by Ben Franklin that helped me get over that blandism, “I so admire the truly humble that if I were one, I’d be so proud.” The Kitchen Table Wisdom on my blog might neutralize judgment. That balance is hard to write right, thanks for your question.